Thursday, July 21, 2011

Parenting a Two Year Old

     OK, so all of my posts so far have been about me.  I may have referenced my kids in them; but it was used as a base to talk about my thoughts.  I want to talk a little about my kids for a moment.  I'm not going to proof-read this; or correct any grammatical errors.  -I'm just going to keep it real and write down what I would say to you in person.

     It's around 8:30 and I'm at home by myself.  Well, the kids are in bed.. I guess I should say that Mack's still at work.  Today's been a typical day.  -Nothing spectacular happened; but nothing bad stood out either.  I guess that really depends on what you consider bad.

     For the last few days Kyle has really been testing me.  He "tunes" me out and doesn't do what I say.  In fact, he tends to do exactly opposite of what I say.  For example, it was naptime (yesterday) and I told him to lay down.  So, he gets next to his pillow and sits by it.  "Lay down."  He stares at me... not even blinking.  "Kyle, lay down."  Still staring at me.

     By this time, I'm already getting a little irritated because he's not listening to me.  "Kyle, if I have to tell you again, you are going to get popped."  He blinks once and continues to stare at me.  So, I pop him.  Still staring.  "Lay down."  Nothing... so I pop him harder.  I continue to do this a third time, popping him down right hard.  He then looks at me in the eye and starts laughing at me.  So, I did what any mom should do in that mind set.  I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me to keep myself from spanking my child into tomorrow.  He then lied down and went to sleep.

     He's been doing stuff like that all week... Kyle do this.. he does something else.. Kyle don't touch that.. he touches it anyway.  I know it's normal for his age; afterall, he's a two year old.  But, my Lord!  -he challenges me with any and everything!!! 

     So, that's why it's 8:30 and Kyle's already in bed.  He was playing with dishwasher, turning it on and off, on and off.  I told him to stop and he didn't.  I then told him if he continues he's going to get popped and go to bed.  He touched it a milisecond after I told him not to.  So, up the stairs we went.  We brushed our teeth, went potty, and in the bed we went.  Overall, it's not annoying or makes my day bad.  In fact, a lot of times I have to keep myself from laughing at some of the things he does to defy me.  I just wish that he would show me a little respect.  That sounds kinda funny, doesn't it?  -To wish a 2 year old would show you respect.  Oh, well, I know that if I keep pushing forward, he'll learn to obey.  There's a reason why God says not to spoil the rod.
     
 

Daisies Growing in a Cow Pasture

     Have you ever met, or still know, someone that seems to have the perfect life?  -One of those friends that really does live "where the sun always shines and puppies are delivered on [their] doorstep?"  Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!  You know, those friends that call you on the phone and talk about how their life just couldn't be any better.  How their husband just saved an elderly person from a burning building.  And Jr., although he's 3 months old, is counting to 50... in Spanish...while changing his own diaper.  Exactly!  Someone just popped up in your mind!

     For those who really know me, know that I'm a very sarcastic person.  And if you're getting to know me through this blog, I'm sure you're beginning to come to that assumption yourself.  But, I hope what you take from my posts are the perspectives of a realist and not a pessimist.  I know there is a fine line between the two; but I never aim to discourage anyone or seem like I have a "whoa is me" attitude.  I'd like to think, however, that I'm the spokesperson out there, that happens to say what everyone is thinking.

     So, who'd you think of?  Anyone come to mind?  Let's try this... have YOU ever come off that way?  I used to be jealous of those friends.  Every time I read their Facebook status, I wished that was me.  I was envious every time they called from their newest and greatest cell phone.  -Those 10thG, size of a post-it note phones that could surf the web, send IMs and make up their bed when they got up in the morning (or whatever those things do now-a-days).  Then I became a mom; and boy did my life change.  Responsibilities, maturity, I can't even list everything I gained when I decided to start a family.  What I did realize, though, is that my jealousy for the "perfect" life became a "realization" of my perfect life.  

     All that time I spent being jealous of what I didn't have and God was giving me what I really needed all along.  I know my life is far from perfect!  Lord knows this body of mine doesn't look like it did before 2 kids.  I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder how in the world "that" got "there."  And if you were to stop by my house tonight I can almost guarantee you I'm not cleaning it before you arrive.  -But having a clean house.  -Having a great figure.  -Having the newest and greatest technology.  Those aren't things on my checklist anymore.  They are added bonuses.  Now that I've had my life and goals put into perspective, I'm no longer jealous of that friend.  Instead, I respond with, "You think YOUR life is great?  Well, my son just wrote with crayons allll over the wall and Halle just spit up all over my new dress!  Be jealous of THAT!"

     COME ON!!  What'd you think I'd say?  "Now that I have kids, my life is perfect with daisies growing in a cow pasture?"  NO.. of course not!! But that's OK.  For once in my life, it's OK.  And getting over the assumption that life should be perfect, has been a wonderful revelation.

     



        

     

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Me Time

     "Well, you're home all day!"  "I just want to relax when I get home from work."  "Just take them with you; how hard can it be?"  Sound familiar?  No?  Well, how about the tried and true: "You get to take a nap every day."

     How many times has your husband mistakenly said those few, fatal words?  -The nails on a chalkboard phrase that every wife dreads to hear.  It's not every day... it's not like he comes home and every sentence is a "what have you done all day" accusation.  But, it's the once a week, or possibly every other week remark that sends you running to the bathroom for a private "me-time."

     Sometimes I think the fellas just don't understand what all goes into this job.  The hours are unpredictable; the boss, I mean kids, are rarely reasonable; and the pay is less than desirable.  At least with an outside job you know what hours you're expected to work; your boss doesn't follow you around your office making sure you do everything they say; and if the salary doesn't cut it, you can go somewhere else.  But us, it's a 24 hour shift.  It's a constant battle juggling laundry, cleaning, disciplining, nap time, supper time, bath time, bed time, and last on the list: "me-time."

     So, I say ALL OF THAT, to get to today's topic... ME TIME.  How wonderful is "me time?"  I mean, sometimes when Mack gets home, I take me time just to sit in the bathroom and stare at the toilet paper roll.  SERIOUSLY!  How great is it to see a toilet paper roll being used for it's purpose?  -No telescope to see the  stars.  -No sword to hit your sister with.  -And definitely not confetti paper for the toddler learning how to use the potty.  Just toilet paper.  Imagine that!  Toilet... Paper.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Just a simple roll, in a simple bathroom, being used for a simple purpose.  I love me time.

     So, let's hear it!  What is YOUR favorite thing to do when it's "me time?"





Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Where the Sun Always Shines and Puppies Are Delivered on Your Doorstep

     "Where do you see yourself ten years from now?"  I can't even begin to count how many times I've been asked that question.  And I'm sure, most of you can say the same thing.  "Married, with 3 well-behaved kids, a wonderful husband, making lots of money. -where the sun always shines and puppies are delivered on your doorstep ..."  or some pageant winner answer like that   -That's what I THOUGHT...not what I SAID.

     Truth be told, I had no idea.  Truth be told, I still have no idea.  Don't get me wrong, I understand the implications behind the question.  But, every time I'm asked that question I give it a little chuckle and move on.  What I can do, however, is look at the past and see how far I've come.

     Many people don't know the story of how Mack and I met.  Here's the synopses: I was dating his manager.  My boyfriend at the time said, "Wow, I know a guy that would be perfect for you... he's a super Christian."  Little did he know that he was exactly right.  Mack and I started dating 3 months later.  He told my parents that he wasn't ready to settle down yet because he still wanted to "sew his oats."  Yes, you can laugh... Because, for those of you who know Mack, know that he is naive and innocent.  Suffice it to say, my parents thought highly of that comment.  Only to find out that Mack didn't understand what "sew your oats" meant and thought that it meant that he still wanted to accomplish his goals in life.  -I guess that depends on your goals. ;)

     Anywhos, he joined the military after we dated for 8 months... he was gone for 6 months.  We wrote love letters to each other.. yes, a real life Dear John (except with a happier ending).  There are 32 love notes total. If you're lucky I may share later.  Moving on... He flies me out to Missouri where he surprises me with proposing.  I guess he didn't really do a good job proposing, cuz by the end of it I thought he was breaking up with me.  Next thing I know, he's down on one knee asking for me to marry him.  So, the southern lady I am, I say "Yes."  He leans in (slow-mo), reaching for my hand... I'm leaning in (slow-mo), reaching out my hand.  He goes to grab my hand... I go to grab the ring.  I grab the ring and slip it on there myself.  I know... romantic..the story of our lives.

    OK, this synopses is turning into a book, I know.  We get married... I continue school in Florence... on Fridays I drive 4 hours to NC to be with Mack on the weekends... then on Monday morning I wake up at 4am and drive to Florence and take classes for the week.  Then go back down on Friday.  I do this for a year.  Then he's sent to another school.. then deployed.. then Kyle.. then Columbia.. Halle.. HERE WE ARE.

    Are you still with me?  Looking back on those five years.  WOW, God has been great!  All the school trainings, deployment,  my schooling, MARINE LIFE in general... all of that and I still feel like I made the right choices.  How wonderful it is to be able to look back on my life and know that I took the right path.  How it feels to wake up next to the person that God has given to me for the rest of my life.  Yes, sometimes in the middle of the night when Mack is snoring as loud as a freight train, I get great satisfaction in pushing him and pretending I'm asleep when he wakes up.  But what wife doesn't?  And,boy, what a privilege it is to raise these two blessings that we call Kyle and Halle.  I can only pray that in five years I can look back and say the same thing.  -God is Good!

     

      

     

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Worth Every Penny

     Being a stay-at-home mom requires a lot: patience, time, understanding.  But, I guess what it requires the most, is money.  After all, that's one of the main reasons most moms don't stay home with their kids.  It's too expensive for them to give up their job.  They can't afford for one of the parents to stay at home and live off of one income.  Or, they don't want to cut back down to the bare necessities. -They want to maintain a certain lifestyle that they've achieved.  Sure, there are a few fortunate families out there where the mom stays at home while the husband makes more than enough to make up for the missing income.  But, for the majority of us stay-at-home moms, there are sacrifices that we have made.          

     Boy, what I would give to be able to wake up after 6am.  What it would be like to take a long, hot shower, BY MYSELF.  How it would feel to drive to my favorite, sit down restaurant and take all the time I needed ordering.  To be able to go shopping afterward for things I wanted.  Then to come home, relax on the sofa, and watch TV til after midnight.  -Just to wake up after 6am the next morning and do it all over again.

     Instead, my baby girl wakes  me up at 6:15 in the morning.  My two year old son insists that I should stand in the back of the shower, while he enjoys the warm water.  We frequently visit the local McDonald's.  When I shop it's for diapers, juice, and Mickey Mouse.  And nighttime is reserved for baths, story time, and monsters under the bed.  And guess what!  Once 6:15 crosses that alarm clock, it starts all over again.

     Now, all you women out there that don't have children, don't read this and automatically run for your birth control.  It's not as bad as you think.  What's under the surface is far greater than all the superficial requirements of childcare.

     At 6:15 in the morning, I wake up to a beautiful 6 month old that smiles at me like I am her world.  My son loves to pretend he's taking care of mommy and wash my hair in the shower.  Yes, we still eat at the fast and easy restaurants; but to see my son sitting and acting well behaved makes me smile at the man he'll become to be.  I enjoy providing for them and buying them what they want as well as what they need.  And those ritual nighttime routines- I enjoy them as much, if not more, than they do.

     It's those little moments in my life that I find myself in love.  In love with my kids.  In love with life.  In love with being a mommy.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.  Yes, there are days when I want to run down the street screaming "Free kids... they come with juice and snacks."  But, when my son looks up at me and says, "Mommy, I luh you."  Or when my daughter smiles at me and laughs at my silly faces.  -It makes my heart melt.  It makes all the dirty diapers, all the back-to-back-to-back Mickey Mouse episodes, all the sacrifices in the world I gave up to be a mom... ALL OF THAT, worth while.  And to me, it's been worth every penny.